Toxic relationship can destroy confidence and self-esteem. Whether in friendship or love, they usually follow the same type of pattern. It consists of three phases. Here they are.
1-The first phase of toxic relationship : idealization
The first sign of a toxic relationship is usually within the first few weeks. He or she tells you that you are the one, even though you barely know each other. While some people may genuinely think this, toxic individuals say it just to push you into commitment. You are flattered and think you have finally found someone who recognizes your true worth.
Toxic people, who are usually narcissistic perverts, also tend to be very quick to put their partner on a pedestal. He or she puts you at the center of their life. So quickly that it becomes questionable. Their goal is not to value you simply because you deserve it, but to trap you in a relationship that you begin to idealize.
This phase is also conducive to a whole lot of confidence. You give him or her your trust and he or she takes advantage of it to know your weak points. The goal? To have all the cards in hand to manipulate you when the time comes.
2-The devaluation of the other, or the engine of a toxic relationship
Once the first phase is completed, the toxic person moves on to the second stage of his or her plan: to make you lose all confidence in yourself. He or she will not hesitate to make comments about your looks, your job, or the weaknesses you’ve told him or her about to pressure you.
This is the second sign of a toxic love relationship. Phrases such as “you’re letting yourself go, I can tell” or “I can see why your ex left you” may be uttered. These individuals usually do everything they can to isolate you. They will not hesitate to criticize your friends to keep you away from them.
3-Toxic relationship: he or she refuses to break up
The toxic love partner has spent months “working” on their prey. Let it go overnight? Not an option. At least not until he or she makes the decision. He or she will do everything in his or her power to get you back in the game. Smooth messages, morning, noon and night, activity proposals or promises that everything will be better if you give him or her another chance.
You are a “narcissistic food” that he or she cannot give up easily. Because of this, you will have to find a new prey and start the whole process from the beginning. Know that if the toxic partner, who can also be described as a psychic vampire, leaves you overnight, it is because he or she has probably found a new victim.
How to recover from a toxic relationship?
Not all toxic romances take on the same proportions. Some people manage to get out of them at the right time, without any major consequences on their mental health, while others are viscerally destroyed. Here are a few tips to try to limit the damage after a toxic relationship like this:
Take time for yourself
Don’t throw yourself back into another Band-Aid relationship. Take time to care for yourself and your emotions. Spend time alone or with the people you love
Don’t feel guilty
Victims are usually the ones who feel guilty. Abusers often have peace of mind. If this toxic relationship has turned into a nightmare even though you have always been sincere and have nothing to blame yourself for, you are not the problem.
Consult a specialist
The people around you and the solitude are not always enough to recover from this type of relationship. Don’t hesitate to consult a psychologist or a psychotherapist to talk about it. In any case, know that you are not alone and that you deserve to be loved.
